id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
