Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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