if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
