I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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