My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
