i can't believe i had my finger in that
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
