if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
