I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
