so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Randomize
