i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
