so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
