If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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