Soap is not a condiment
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
