Nicole vs. Life
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
