Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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