...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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