It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize