I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Randomize
