thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Randomize
