i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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