If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
