but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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