I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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