idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
