I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Randomize
