I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
