Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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