also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
