Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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