My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You had me at "let me see your balls"
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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