You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
