I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
