Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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