Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
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