I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
