Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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