You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
