Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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