I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
