You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
