She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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