Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
