ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
