I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
