you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
