yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
be right there i have to get my cape
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
