dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
