I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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