OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
