I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
they need to just BURY HIM!
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
