I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
