some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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