all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
