it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Randomize
