I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
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