Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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