There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
