But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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