The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize