shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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