I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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