Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
