..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I don't think brook has ever known best
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
