ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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