I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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