I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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