he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
