My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
