I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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