It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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