i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
This baby is an asshole
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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