maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
