Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize