wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
