Swine flu. Run for my life!
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
