Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
